The Way We're Abandoning Old People In Nigeria Is Not Good

DUMPED AT SUNSET: Abandoned old people lament their desertion by kith and kin
The growing trend of abandoning elderly people to suffer in their old age rather than enjoy the peaceful rest they deserve is a source of concern in many quarters.

Ordinarily, old age should be time that one should enjoy the deserved rest and get the reward for the good works that one must have done in one’s younger days. But that is not the case with many elderly people of today. 

Many of them, including those who have children, have nobody to take care of them. Many of them have been abandoned by family members and are either confined to special homes or left on the streets to beg.

A visit to the Elderly People’s Home in Borokiri, Port Harcourt, Rivers State, shows that a good number of elderly people in the state capital and neighbouring states reside at the home, forcing the Catholic Church, which established it, to invest enormous resources in taking care of them.

Highlighting the challenges involved in taking care of the elderly people, Rev. Sister Mary Jane Raphael Agubosi, a matron at the home, said: “The major challenges we have is finance. Sometimes, we find it difficult to pay the workers and even the hospital bills of the inmates.

“In this home, we have 33 inmates, made up of 11 men and 22 women. We lost one of them today (last week). She was 107 years old. All her children have died and she was left with her grandchildren.

“Those of them that are sick, we are not able to take them to the hospital because of the bills. We don’t have social workers; we only have school certificate holders so that we will be able to pay for their services.

“Today, some groups visited and gave us so many items, including drugs, which are important. Last year, they visited us too. We are very grateful to them and we pray that God will bless them abundantly and grant them good old age so that their children’s children will take care of them.”

Asked how the old people are brought into the home, Rev. Sister Mary Jane said people come to them, begging to be accepted in the home.

She said: “Normally, we cannot go out to the street to look for elderly people. Their faith does not matter. People come to us as individuals, churches or organisations, saying that they have elderly people. We give them a form to fill.

“After that, we tell them that we would not admit people with stroke because we don’t have social workers here to help us out. So, we only admit those ones that can take care of themselves.

“Those who have children, we always advise them to bring them down here instead of leaving them at home, and they pay N 15,000. But those who don’t have children, we don’t take anything from them since we solely depend on charity.”

The oldest inmate at Port Harcourt Home for the Elderly, 104-year-old Madam Agnes, who spoke in her native Ikwerre language, said: “I am from Emohua community. I came here because of my eye problem. I have nobody to take care of me or send me to the hospital. But since I came here I am better now.

“My eye is no longer disturbing me. The only thing now is that my body is no longer the same. You can see we are approaching and getting set to meet with our creator.

“One thing I would say is that no matter how good est enjoyment on earth is to be with your family or children. But as fortune has dictated otherwise, we have no option but to accept our fate.”

At Mile 3 axis of Port Harcourt, one of the elderly women, who gave her name simply as Mrs. Angela, said she started begging for alms when she realised that she could not do anything to assist herself. She says she transports herself from Aba in Abia State to Port Harcourt to beg for alms because there was nobody to assist her.

Meanwhile, the 12-year-old boy who takes her around says he pays N1,000 on a daily basis, which includes the cost of coming to Port Harcourt and going back to Aba on a daily basis, though he says they make more than the amount spent on transportation.

Another beggar, Madam Clarice Johnson, says it is not that she has nobody to take care of her but those who should have shown her love in her old age deserted her for no reason. She said that after staying at home alone without food, she realised that she could die of hunger.

“That was why I decided to ask people for help. If I have something doing that could fetch me money, I will stop begging,” she said.

The emotional responses of the abandoned elders prompted our correspondent to seek the reaction of the public on what could cause an elderly man or woman to be deserted by their loved ones at old age or sent to special homes.

Mr. Confidence Obiandu, a marine engineer, said the kind of family one comes from determines how he or she would spend old age.

He said: “The cases differ. It depends on the family. I know a man who has about six children, three each from his two wives. Now the family is finding it difficult to take care of the man in his old age, considering the fact that they have children of their own.

“Right now, the man is in the hospital. They said he will be discharged soon, but the wives are finding it difficult to take care of the man because his illness requires proper care and attention.

“They may decide to send him to a special home, not because he doesn’t have children, but because there is no money to take care of him. I think the issue basically is that the situation of the illness of the aged person will necessitate proper care.

“Some people even get a rented apartment for the person. But I think the situation of the illness can necessitate that. Like in the case of my grandmother, my mum took good care of her. She was 85 and up till the time she died, she was well taken care of. So, there should be no excuse that there are no relations or children to take care of elderly people.”

Another business man, Mr. Marcel Iroejbu, also believes that one’s family background and the reasoning of those around can cause one to be abandoned at old age.

He said: “I think it depends on the family background and bond. Like myself, I’m friendly with my brothers and that made them to love me. Coming down to my own children, some of them are out of the university. Although they haven’t got reasonable jobs, they still take care of me.

“I feel that the reason why some of these elderly people are not taken care of at old age is because they did not take care of their family members when they were still young and strong enough. They were selfish to themselves or their family members alone.

“The second point is that modern Nigerians do not appreciate good deeds. They believe that whatever thing they achieve is by their own training. They don’t know that training is from two sides. Somebody has to support you and you take advantage of that support to become somebody in the society. If you don’t take advantage of that support, you won’t make it.”

Mr. Emperor Joseph King, said people must learn how to do good when they are young and strong.

He said: “It is good to do good when you are active. Take care of the poor and the needy when you are still young so as to see who would help you tomorrow when you are old. If you have children, you should take good care of them so that when you get old, those children and relations will take care of you.

“So, when you see people that are suffering at old age, they might have led questionable lives. My advice to the younger ones is that they should train their children and relations and be merciful to the poor and the needy so that when they get old, they will have people to take care of them.”

For David Emmanuel, the reason why people suffer at the old age is poverty. “Some of these things are caused by poverty,” he said. “For instance, I have children and if I cannot take care of them due to lack of good job, they might not be able to take care of me too when I grow old because they don’t have the resources.

“My siblings might feel that I don’t want to take care of them, but they don’t know that the money is not there to take care of them. But I have the mind of taking good care of them.

“These are some of the challenges, and when you get old, you find that you will not have people to take care of you because they feel that you didn’t help them when they needed your help.”

Akwa Ibom State-born Francis Iwatt believes that the major reason an old person may not have anyone to take care of him or her is their inability to have children early in life.

“Another reason why people get neglected when they get old is because they didn’t have children early. They gave birth in their old age, so it becomes a problem. “Like myself, I have three children already. By the time I am 40, my children would have grown up a bit. So, in my old age, I will have grown up children to take care of me. I’m not saying it is their fault that they didn’t give birth early enough because no one can question God.”

But Mrs. Tobin West Dorathy, a Kalabari, says those who abandon their parents at old age should be arrested.

She said: “It is time to arrest those who abandon their parents and relatives because of age. In my own place, I haven’t seen something like that because as an elderly person, you must have helped other people’s children. So, even if you don’t have your own children, you can still have relations that can take care of you. I have not seen a place where they would build a small house and put elderly people in it. It is very strange.

“In my place, we help others because we live together. My advice is that anywhere you see elderly people, you should help them instead of punishing them. If you see someone maltreating an elderly person, you should report the person to the police so that the elderly person can be well taken care of.”

Written by PRECIOUS DIKEWOHA of The Nation