Confused Blog Reader in Love With Two Men Needs Advice

Hello Aunty Laila Ijeoma, i have a problem that i will like you to help me solve . my name is Titi. for some reason which i can't explain am in love with two different men. Ayo is my day one guy and we have been together since we are teenagers, he is currently serving in kwara state, he is some how weak and rarely make decisions without me .he is too good for a fault that is my problem with him ,i have known this guy for over twelve years and he has never for one day rise his voice on me. Everything I do is good . he even apologizes when i cheat on him. he believes that if he keeps me satisfied, i would never cheat. he is just too convenient for my liking.
I met Caleb few months ago. He was the teller who handled my BVN at the bank. our meeting was rather a controversial one. I was standing at the queue for over 5 hours when he suddenly got up and announced that he is going for lunch break and that we must all wait another 20 minutes. I was just 2 places away from submitting my form and doing the thumb printing by then. Instantly lost my cool and lashed out at him. To my greatest surprise, instead of apologise, he stood up walked out of his cubicle and gave me the most humiliating dress down of my life. He told me that i had no home training and that my mother has failed..He told me that my cheap hair stank before asking security to walk me out of the bank. I was shocked. it wasnt like he was saying these in hushed tone, He was actually very loud. I looked around and all eyes were on me. The security man came around and practically pushed me out of the bank. Whwn I got home, I cried myself silly. I have never been so humiliated in my entire life. It was at that moment that my troubles began. Ayo had another opportunity to prove himself but as usual I had nobody to talk to. I Called Ayo and all he did was lament with me before convincing me to try another branch to complete my BVN. What man does that, I realised that I wanted a man who would walk me back to the same branch and demand to speak with the manager on my behalf instead of lament and ask me to try another branch. I got over my misery and decided to go back and face the bank guy. When i walked into the bank the few days later, I behaved my self and waited patiently until, it got to my turn. He welcomed me with the most disarming smile i have seen in a long while. He obiously did not remdember me and i couldnt even make up my mind on what to do. I simply told him to stop decieving people with his fake smile while he hides a heart full of wickedness. He was taken aback until he was able to put 2 and 2 together. We exchanged numbers and The rest is history. Caleb is a brute and he has raised his hands on me on 2 different occasions. One when he saw an sms ayo sent me and the second time was intentional cos i provoced him into hitting me.. Like I said It was intentional by the way so i wont bore you with the details. He proposed to me last sunday and i said yes. I didnt mean but he proposed to me right inside a fast food center so I dont want to embaras him. I love him so dont even make a mistake about that but i also love Ayo and I dont want to hurt him. If only i am allowed to have both. Ayo is even still dependent so marriage no be today matter. Caleb on the other hand is ready even though he dosnt make me cum when we make love and rarely has enough time to spend with me. Ayo on the other hand would do any thing to make me happy. suck me, lap me,buy even my undies and shave my pubic hair but he is not manly enough to make me loyal to him alone. I dont know how to make you understand this. He is too calm and passive for me. Imagine someone who would even apologise to me when I cheat on him. I dont know how i got myself into this mess but i know for sure that i need help. Thank you